so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
