the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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