The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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