I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize