No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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