i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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