I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
