Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
