You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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