I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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