I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
