let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
