He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
