I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
