I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
