I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I sprained my soul last night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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