you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
