Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
