I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We are all done wearing pants today
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