she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
