Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
