sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
