Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
