I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize