Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
