I cut my penus on the lid.
My pussy is not your playground.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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