You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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