i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Farmville is her only friend.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
