There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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