Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
