At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
