omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just tell him i said nine months
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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