yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
