He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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