Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
