I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
