Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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