I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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