yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are the jesus of drinking
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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