so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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