if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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