How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Oh god it's open bar.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
