I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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