just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
