i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
