he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
