thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
