So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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