Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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