He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
