Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
