these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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