whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
