Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was like eating out sand paper
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
