I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
