remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
