if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
