I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
