you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
