shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
